We’ve heard them all:

“Don’t go to bed angry,” “Marriage is hard” and many more. With so many relationship rules, it can be difficult to separate the fact from the fiction. Style Magazines has identified five of the most common relationship myths and debunked them to help you better navigate the river of love.

1. “Never go to bed angry”

We’ve all been told this at some point in our lives, but following this rule can result in numerous late nights, repeating the same argument with no resolution. In fact, staying up to hash things out can actually make matters worse, as sleep deprivation and emotional and mental exhaustion lower your ability to make good judgements and rob you of self-control. It’s better to put the argument on hold and agree to come back to the discussion once you’ve both had the chance to rest. Often, you’ll wake with a clearer understanding of the situation and a better idea of how to resolve the conflict. 

2. “You must do everything together”

Common interests and a degree of interdependence create an incentive for couples to stay together, but this doesn’t mean you and your partner must, or should, do everything together. Doing activities separate from your partner ensures that you’ll always have adventures to share with each other.

3. “A perfect relationship means no conflict”

It’s obvious that if your relationship is filled with constant turmoil and unresolved conflict, it’s probably in trouble. But a complete lack of conflict can kill a relationship just as quickly, because it signals that you might not be addressing important issues. Couples who avoid conflict tend to be less happy over time because instead of addressing problems as they arise, they brush the issues off and allow the negative emotions attached to the problem to fester. Don’t avoid the tough conversations; learn how to disagree in a healthy way. When dealt with in a productive manner, conflict can actually strengthen a relationship as it forces you and your partner to work together to come to a solution.

4. “Relationships are hard work”

Negating this myth depends entirely on your definition of the word ‘work.’ When you view your relationship as something you have to ‘work’ at maintaining, like you would a car that repeatedly breaks down, your love life may begin to feel like a chore. That being said, relationships do require attention and effort from both parties to be successful.

5. “All you need is love”

We’ve been conditioned to believe that if you love your significant other enough, your relationship will work. While love is obviously a very important factor in making a relationship successful, it’s important to develop the skills needed to ensure your relationship will go the distance. Finding common ground and keeping an open line of communication are two skills that will help your relationship last.